As surprising as it may be, a nerd like myself managed to get a girlfriend. What shouldn’t be surprising is the fact that I am not stuffing my tongue down her throat every chance I get, and yet that is what everyone else is subjected to watch in the halls every day. It is such a widespread pandemic we needed to employ the PDA* police on Halloween (which was pretty epic by the way). In fact, the PDA has gotten so bad that pretty much every person I have asked has had a negative experience dealing with someone else’s PDA. Now I understand this to a degree. We are all teenagers with a lot of hormones to deal with. To an extent, I understand this, BUT I am also a teenager, I also have a girlfriend, and I am perfectly capable of controlling myself. Now it is not like I never give my girlfriend any attention (she would probably die if I didn’t).  She punches me in the gut occasionally, and I give her a hug after school (although I try to keep it short). If you want to kiss your significant other goodbye, then don’t let me stop you, although personally I don’t know how that would be enjoyable to do since everyone will be watching with malicious intent. 

Short displays of affection and rare ones can be bearable to the rest of us, but no one needs to see you undo your girlfriend’s bra in the hall, save that for home, please. Of course, I cannot control what you do, and if having people watch you lick the back of each other’s throats is something you are into, well then you have found yourself the jackpot. In all honesty, though, backing up the hallway traffic just so you can make out with your partner to say goodbye is not only pretty rude, it is also beyond unnecessary. You could just say, “Bye sweetie love you! See you in an hour to make everyone else uncomfortable in the locker bank!” No need to hold up the rest of us for your love affairs. Remember, Earth spins around the sun, not you guys. We also don’t want to watch you people tickle fight while we are trying to eat; it just makes me want to hurl my lunch. 

PDA, in general, is uncomfortable for everyone around and is overall slightly disrespectful. Plus, it really isn’t that hard to keep it PG over the course of the school day; I know first hand. In the end, this will probably only result in people making out in my face just to spite me, and if you end up doing that, good for you I guess. Just try and be a little more courteous, please. For the rest of us who understand boundaries though, just stare down the couples who don’t, maybe then they will understand how awkward it is for everyone (they may also just go at it even more instead). 

*PDA stands for “Public Display of Affection”

All instances stated in this article are based on true stories.