Attention bargain hunters


Mikkal Hvidsten, Writer

Stop just hanging out in your best friend’s basement, and do something with your life!  If you’re having trouble finding affordable yet fun activities around Minnesota, look no further than the very article you’re reading. It may seem like you are out of luck, but trust me, these good deals will blow your flopping head off.

Perkins Free Pie Monday

The endless debate of breakfast food versus dessert has reached a climactic and mind-blowing agreement: Perkins Free Pie Monday.  If you happen to be around one of the breakfast empire’s locations on a Monday and you’ve got a hankering for some pancakes AND pie, then you’re in luck. If you’re on the lookout for this great deal, you can find the closest Perkins in Lakeville, Faribault, and Burnsville all within about 20 miles. And listen, I know what you’re thinking, and no, this deal isn’t too good to be true. That’s because you can’t just walk in and claim your pie as a birthright. In order to obtain the sweet, sweet pie you need to order an entrée. But that’s alright because who doesn’t like breakfast food? 

Emagine Theater $5 Tuesday

Quick poll for all of y’all: who here likes movies? All of you? Nice. That’s good because this next staggering deal will take you all the way up to Cloud 9. So imagine this, you wake up on a Tuesday morning, filled to the brim with free pie, and you think “didn’t (insert relevant movie here) just come out?” Yes, it did, and luckily it’s showing at Emagine Theaters. You can get your movie ticket for ONLY $5. If that didn’t excite you enough, you also get free small popcorn with each purchase. If you’re worried about the location of the nearest Emagine theater, don’t. Thankfully, it’s right in Lakeville, and even closer than the Perkins. I know, I know, just like last time, it sounds too good to be true. Well, it kind of is, because in order to be a part of this game-changing opportunity you need to sign up for a membership, which is free! So go and watch all the movies you want, except only on Tuesdays.

Local Thrifting

So now imagine this. You are still a bit fuzzy from all that pie and popcorn, and you’re sitting in the cold, dark theater watching whatever movie you want. Unfortunately, you are just too cold to focus on this premium HD screen displaying the best movie you have ever seen. Well, if you’re on a budget and want a bargain, I’ve got you covered. Thrifting is a big trend around New Prague, and I kindly request that you get out from under that rock you inhabit if you haven’t heard of it. You can go to stores like Hands of Friendship right outside of town, Goodwill in Lakeville and Savage, and Unique in Burnsville to name a few. There is also “The Bins” which is a Goodwill Outlet in Chaska that has all sorts of cool clothes, shoes, and items, and you pay by the pound so it is very, very cheap. It’s a way to get cool and fun stuff for cheap, and you can finally focus on that movie you paid only 5 dollars for!

Now that you’ve seen the world and gotten out of that dank, musty basement I bet you are never going back again. Because why would you? You’ve got all the resources to have a great time AND save money. By the way, you’re welcome.