Good Afternoon Trojans, and welcome back to a brand-new year of education at New Prague High School. With a new year comes new staff, classes, and our subject for today, policies. In particular, I am talking about the new E-Hall pass system. I’m sure you are all aware of this new system because students are required to use it when they want to go to the bathroom during class. This is a step down a path I don’t see ourselves walking away from, Trojans. You must be saying to yourself, “Surely you aren’t serious in that this is about total domination over NPHS, are you?!”, and to that, I have only one thing to say: I am serious, and don’t call me Shirley. 

So first of all, E-Hall pass records and shares two pieces of information with the staff of NPHS; it shows when and where. First off, teachers have to approve your pass, and when they do, the timer starts (*shudders*). The timer continues until you come back into the classroom, and the teacher finally remembers to shut off the timer. But the timer (*shudder*), or the “when” aspect, isn’t the only thing being tracked. When you fill out your pass, you need to put where you came from and where you are going. This ensures that you go to where you say you’re going. This way, if something goes wrong and they find out you’ve been tearing down bathroom stalls like an enraged ape that went bananas, they can know it was you doing that dirty work. But there are some faults to this system. In my opinion, or as most would call it, the right opinion, this only scratches the surface of the possibilities we have to make NPHS a better place. 

To really get to what we need, we have to think about what makes up security and why it makes us feel safe. Now I don’t know a single person that doesn’t have a lock on their phone, whether it’s a fingerprint scan, or our topic for this fun little section, Face ID. We should have Face ID scanners at each classroom and bathroom door to track who or what is going into these areas. You start saying, “But what about our privacy” in your whiny tone of voice, but I would like to point out that you carry around your small phone box that quite literally records everything. Also, you’re at school, and who doesn’t love school, so we must accept everything that needs to be done. 

Speaking of loving school, we need to ensure everyone’s safety and make certain that people can’t steal or bring stuff into a school that might hurt the learning environment NPHS has worked so hard to establish. Now I think I speak for everyone when I say I wish I could never leave this gosh-darn building! And with my idea, I think I could effectively turn dreams into reality. I suggest we install charging stations for students in their dedicated rooms as soon as possible. If you think about it, these charging stations, a chamber in that we have time to sleep and do our schoolwork, would optimize the hours we start and end school for all the students and give them time to get their energy back up before the next school day. If you’re worried about your outside life and seeing your “friends” and “family”, that’s what college and adulthood are for. 

Our education is the most important thing in our life right now, so we better do it right. I can’t stand to see another lost soul navigate through high school not having the most secure and safest experience in school. Your school is like a sanctuary: be prepared to go through what you must. This is to certify that everyone is doing what they’re supposed to and we have our best year yet. Go Trojans!